A long post not from renots!!! =)

I'm posting this for all the people that are contemplating quitting they're crappy jobs. I know I am. The time to remember all the crap that you've put up with on the job is after you've found a new employer and have given the obligatory two-week notice to your boss. All the late nights you've been forced to work, the crappy salary you've been paid, the nightmarish tasks you've been assigned, the way your boss has yelled at you, let it all come back and get fresh in your mind. Let the sparks of anger tingle up your spine - For every last moment of the two-week notice is your time for payback. The List. On that first day of the two-week countdown, sit at your desk and focus like you've never focused before on making a list of all the things you hate about your job. This list serves a number of purposes. First, it gives you concrete examples to focus on as you embark on your mission of payback. Two, it provides a list of all the things to avoid, such as meetings and deadlines, as well as specific people to shun, treat like **** and take revenge on. Three, in case you start to feel an impulse of loyalty towards your company, and actually start to feel guilty about your new attitude of nonchalance, you can read over the list and be reminded of the horrible nature of your job. Relax. Once the list is complete, it's time to slow down the pace. Sit back. Enjoy a cup of coffee. Hell, enjoy two or three. Buy some magazines and read them from cover to cover. Send e-mail to friends. Surf the web. Make lots of long distance phone calls. Look into that trip to Mexico you've always meant to take. When you go on a break, make it a long one. Go run some errands. This is no longer company time. It's your time. Take your sick days. If you've got sick days left, now is the time to use them. The key here is not to feel guilty, or even awkward, about calling in sick during your two-week notice period. Even if you've got five sick days, take every last one of them. It's your time to squeeze something from the company in return for all your hard work, and taking your sick days is one of the ways to get compensation. Show up late. The number of times you've felt panic swell up in your chest and sweat beads dampen your forehead in the dead of winter because you were late for work is too many to count. All that wasted energy! All the stress! All because your boss has sternly warned you that the work day starts at 8:30 a.m., and not 8:40 a.m. Well, during your last two weeks, the work day starts when you want it to. If you're late, and you get caught, just make up an excuse. And feel free to use the lamest of excuses ("My car wouldn't start" or "There was a power outage and my alarm clock didn't go off this morning.") Take really, really long lunches. During these last two weeks, consider the start of the lunch break at the very moment in which you feel hungry. So if your stomach growls at 10:30 a.m., go to lunch. And once you've gone to lunch, take your time. Look the menu over long and hard. Buy the paper and read every section. Meet up with an old friend on the other side of town. Order desert and coffee. Do whatever it takes to make it seem more like Sunday brunch. Steal office supplies and other things you've always wanted to take. Now don't get greedy. Don't steal anything that will jeopardize your new job, or god forbid, get you jail time, if you get caught. This is simply your time to stock up on office supplies, and maybe a few coffee cups. Raid that supply cabinet, and if you've got a special attachment to a stapler on your desk, slip it in your bag and take it home. You deserve it! Sabotage your ongoing work. If you've got an ongoing assignment or something that you've been working on that you're not going to finish before your final exit, delete it, or jumble it up into a complete state of disarray. It's your work, after all. Why should the person who comes in after you've left get credit for something you've put together? More than likely, you will leave your supervisor in a lurch. That's icing on the cake. Lord knows he's never done anything to help you out, and has essentially made his life better by making yours more miserable. Revenge. That list of things you hate about your job is sure to include a few co-workers, and as sure as the copy machine will be out of service the next time you need to use it, the name of your boss. Unless your co-workers are exceptionally annoying, let your revenge on them be the fact that you're leaving and they aren't. But your boss, he's the ******* who is principally behind all the crap you've had to put up with. He is the force that has created the swell of stress, unhappiness, and general discontent in the better part of your waking hours. He deserves to get the **** kicked out of him, but that wouldn't be revenge - that would be playing right into the hand of "The Man." You'd lose your new job, and most likely, go to jail. The last thing you want to hear is your boss saying, "Of course I want to press charges, Officer." So you are left to do the more innocuous, simple actions that will momentarily derail the flow of your boss's day. Throw out some of his messages. File some of his papers in the wrong cabinets. Yank some pages from the middle of an important document and throw them out. Lose some of his outgoing mail. Dump some of the incoming mail. Make sure he doesn't get the recently circulated memo. Hide his stapler remover. Put a bunch of pens that don't work in his desk drawer. Sure, these things seem petty, but just remember the times he asked you to go make copies of a document in front of a client. Remember the times late on Friday afternoons that he dropped assignments in your lap that had to be done by Monday morning. The times he had you pick up his lunch on rainy afternoons. The times he forgot to tell you he didn't need that research done after all. Every job book out there will tell you in big, bold letters, "don't quit your current job until you've found a new one," the reason being that you are more desirable to prospective employers if you are currently employed. Also, you wont be strapped for cash and be suffering from the stresses of unemployment while you desperately try to find a job. That's good advice, but it's leaving out a key reason: the joys of sweet revenge during your two-weeks notice. -Jeffrey Yamaguchi __________________ V-E-R-Y Long... but informative and entertaining! I will remember this list if I ever quit my job... Thanks! ------------------ ~CivicGirlRacer __________________ Finally we see some results of renots posts rubbing off. __________________ ...and if you are going to steal anything, make sure that you do it before your last day, or it will be too obvious __________________ A little Officespace action huh. __________________ i don't even want to read all that. __________________ But you must sillyazn. __________________ Dat U Dan? ;0)